One of the hardest lessons I learned as an entrepreneur is how easy it is for the people in your life to choose not to support you. It starts subtly, you almost don’t notice it until that moment that you do. And you wish you hadn’t because now you can’t un-feel that feeling of betrayal.
You start to wonder why is it so easy for people who say they love you, to go to the store and buy the same thing you sell, from a stranger. Friendship. Family. All of it starts to mean something a bit different to you than it meant in the past. I think I really became aware of the people in my life who made a choice not to support me when I opened up my bakery.
When friends were throwing birthday parties and inviting Mali and I to come to sing over a target cake, I couldn’t help but ask, why? Why did you choose to support a big brand over a friend? Why is it so easy for you to justify taking food out of my sons’ mouth? That’s how I saw it. Whenever someone I knew went somewhere else for a service that I provided, I saw it as not only do you not support me, but you don’t find it important enough to support my son.
Wow! That is heavy. It feels heavy typing it. I allowed the weight of someone else’s’ decision to hold value in my life. I did it willfully, intentionally.
I have to admit, I have in the past, been at fault for holding the people in my life accountable for the way they make me feel. But I guess the revelation, as I type this, is I and only I am responsible for my feelings. I am responsible for the way I allow people to make me feel. Yes, it sucks when someone you know doesn’t support your business, but will their lack of support stop you or your business from succeeding.
If the answer is yes, you might want to just throw in the towel yesterday and forget we even started this conversation. But honestly, ask yourself if they don’t buy my product or use my service will I fail? The answer is no! Your success comes the moment you stop relying on anyone but you. So, stop asking them for referrals and stop asking them to share your posts.
The instant you begin to walk in your light, that is when they will realize, wait a minute! She doesn’t need me anymore. She’s not bugging me about so and so anymore. I wonder what she’s up to? That’s when you’ll get that phone call, oh hey, I saw your post, flyer, commercial, Ad, etc. The smile on your face when you see them noticing you after the world has already noticed you, brings on a gut tingling desire to keep crushing it.
Please don’t misunderstand me, I have no tolerance in my life for people who dim my light. I’m not saying to just smother your feelings and grow up. I’m saying ignore them. Acknowledge them for who they are and what they bring to the table. Make a mental note and move the hell on. You don’t have the energy to dwell on anything that takes you away from the beauty of your success. So, address it within yourself, acknowledge the way it makes you feel and then let that shit go!
Think about it like this, as friendly and extroverted as I can be, there are a lot more strangers in this world than people I know. If I had to run my real estate business based on my friends and their referrals, I would be out of friends and out of business. So, no! Send me a stranger any day. Send me someone who doesn’t expect me to give them a discount when they should be paying double as far as I’m concerned. Send me someone who is not going to cancel on me last minute because well… It’s just Danica, she’ll understand. Send me someone who values my time, my commitment, my work ethic.
Send me success.